The Turning Point
Bitterness had taken its root. My emptiness grew deeper until one remarkable day, my turning point came while finishing a college term paper on “Coping with Emotional Stress.” I found Romans 8:28 in my final research material and it brought such a relief in my spirit to have read, “… In all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
It gently dawned on me that God has a purpose in my life– that I wouldn’t have been blessed with great opportunities– as attending a world class university, becoming a Christian and growing in my faith without my being adopted. As God unfolded all of these, I had to repent for my bitterness and rebellion. A letter was sent to my sister in Louisiana voicing out to her for the first time my predicament. She graciously wrote back asking for forgiveness and reassuring me of her love. With a forgiving heart, I chose to release her as well as other family members. We’ve gone through a healing in our relationships since then, even with the past demise of both my adoptive and biological parents.
Now with a family of my own, I’m no longer the attention freak that I was. That deep void has already been filled. I only revert to my story when I have to for my daughter and other people’s benefit.
Healing, though, is a process and not a one-time event. Sometimes I still struggle with facing the stigma of being an adopted child. But I guess I will have to live with it– until it no longer stings– when my eyes and heart are totally fixed on the good things around me. My healing will be complete then and no matter what I hear, I can only be grateful for who I am.
If there is one thing that I can be envious of my children, that is their having a simple uncomplicated family background. Mine is rather complicated as I grew up as an adopted child. My daughter would sometimes ask me details about my adoption, but there were times I was just not ready to give an answer.
Now hoping to reach out to fellow adopted children and their adoptive parents, I want to share my story, which is the first of two parts:
Search for Acceptance
Restless. That would describe my life as a young adult. I was just busy going around, sharing my life story to friends.
Surprisingly, I found this note one day from a roommate and close friend: “Listen to yourself… Listen to yourself talking…” Her unsolicited piece of advice was prompted by my lack of sensitivity. She couldn’t sleep the other night due to a noise in the next-door apartment. I just happened to be the noisemaker, giggling at the fact of getting another captive audience.
My friend’s writing that next day came as a much-needed rebuke. As I tried to listen to myself, it upset me to hear a 23 year-old speaking like a teenager. And so, I wondered why I did not seem to grow up emotionally. Why did I become so preoccupied with getting other people’s attention and approval?
I thought that was I– my sanguine side that made me a people person. Nothing seemed to be wrong except that I was not meeting the expectations of my elder adoptive sister, who was an achiever. Instead of striving hard as a student, I lost the motivation to excel in school, getting by as an average student with no failing grades when I knew I could have done better.
I grew up like a “family mascot” being the youngest and the source of joy with my bubbly personality. But why and how did I transform into a “lost child”?
Facing the Hurts
I guess the unwanted revelation of my being an adopted child simply brought a deep hurt. How in the world would a 6-year-old be ready to comprehend and accept that her adoptive father was an uncle of her biological mom? That her elderly parents were actually her grannies? That they adopted her at only one-month-old, due to her family’s poverty and mother’s nervous breakdown after giving birth?
The adoption was not legal, which made things more complicated. I wouldn’t forget the most embarrassing question thrown on me as a 12-year-old. I was still carrying the surname of my biological parents, which was different from my adoptive family’s. But when I had to fill up bio-data forms in school, I would write my adoptive parents’ names. One day, my teacher addressed me in front of all my classmates, “Nymfa, how did it happen that you are Nymfa Placido, but your parents are Mr. & Mrs. Dominador Balagtas?”
I felt a big lump on my throat. I wanted to cry, but I just couldn’t. After trying to regain my composure, I replied, “Sir, because what I’ve written there are the names of my guardians. They’re not my real parents—they adopted me when I was one-month old…”
All my teacher said was that he appreciated my audacity. He expected indeed that I would cry, but I did not. I managed to come on strong. But as I went home alone by myself, I wept and asked God why I had to go through that shaming incident.
My struggle was made worst when my sister, who was supposed to be the youngest, admitted her jealousy of the attention and love showered on me. While treating me as her youngest sister, whenever a conflict would arise, she would throw flat on my face how indebted I am to all of them.
Unprepared to wrestle with the trauma, I began to emotionally withdraw from my adoptive family. They never knew how hurting I was inside, missing the joy of a normal childhood, of being nurtured in a family that I could confidently introduce as my own.
As my Book Review Post on How To Really Love Your Child brings out that the most important bond in the family is that of the husband and wife relationship, I believe that this Father’s Day, we moms should be the first ones to greet and honor the man of the house.
In the first place, we wouldn’t have become the mothers that we are now had we not met
these men in our lives. I am personally grateful to God for my husband. We’re opposite in many ways– like I am sometimes intellectual and he’s most of the times practical; I am extrovert and he’s introvert and so on… He was not the man of my dreams, but the man of my reality. He’s not perfect, but I admire him as a loving and caring father to our children.
What about you? How would you describe the man of your house?
Happy Father’s Day to all the dads visiting this site!
Posted on June 14th, 2008 in
Uncategorized | Tags:
Father's Day | Author:
nymfa |
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We usually need a studio shot family photo to adorn our living room, bedroom walls and tables and our internet profiles. But what if you have no time to go to a photo studio or even pose for your best shot with your family?
I had this problem a few months ago. I wanted to have a neat family picture, but it was so hard to prepare everyone (including myself) for the actual picture-taking.
Thank God that there is a solution to every problem, whether big or small. I got an idea that I could actually make our own family photo through Photoshop. Here are a few tips for beginners:
1) Choose the best photo of each family member (or two or three individuals may be together in one picture) and open them with any Photoshop version.
2) Select the background photo that you want for your family picture.
3) Create dramatic effects to your background photo by using any of the Filter Menu commands.
4) Clone each individual image into your desired background.
5) When cloning or photomerging is already done smoothly, click ‘File-Save As’ to save your new family photo.
If you are like me who’s not an expert, but always willing to learn and experiment, then there should be no limit to your creativity. Happy Photoshop Adventure!
Posted on June 12th, 2008 in
Clever Moms | Tags:
Photoshop Beginners | Author:
nymfa |
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New Toy
Aside from being a proud mom, recycling artist, and mom blogger, I am also a photography enthusiast. Thank God with today’s technology! Yes, gone are those days when kids are not allowed to play with a camera for fear of destroying or accidentally exposing films to the light.
Well now, as long as you have rechargeable batteries for your digicam, you can let your curious primary schooler experiment with the gadget. Like one time, my 8-year-old daughter simply got bored with coloring, Barbies and other art stuff. So I gave her the freedom to play with my Kodak 3.2 Megapix camera. The result? I just found it great!
New Hobby
I would say digital photography is a worthwhile hobby for kids. Not only that they are able to try 
out something new. It also brings out their creativity at a real early age. Look at these shots by my daughter. These are candid photos of her baby brother and herself. Aren’t they cool?
I learned to take good photos as a sophomore in college when I took my Basic Photography course. Now I am so amazed that children don’t actually need photography lessons to learn to make stolen and eye-catching shots. They only have to try it out with a digital camera.
Maybe the next thing I would teach my daughter is editing through Photoshop. Tech savvy moms raise up tech savvy kids. Don’t they?
Busy Mom
How do you handle stress as a mother of two or more kids? I am sure each of us has a different way of coping and juggling our multiple roles and daily tasks.
Last year, right after giving birth to a baby boy, my husband and I were helping run the three-month lecture phase of a six-month training school. From Mondays through Fridays we had to be ready before 8:30 am for our job, while at the same time bathing the baby and preparing our first grader for her school.
Although we lived at the 3rd floor of our training center and we only had to go downstairs for the school, the adjustment was not easy for us. But would you believe what brought a big smile on my face during the last month of our hectic training schedule. One morning in our classroom, I just stood up with my baby boy to join the prayer time for our students. While standing up, I looked down only to discover something quite strange– my feet! It was simply the wrong pair of shoes! My left foot had a white leather sandal, whereas my right had a pink one. What a new unique style!
Mom Blooper
I went on to show my co-staff and some of our students and they all laughed with me. Imagine that every morning I would just grab with my feet whatever pair of shoes I could get from underneath our bed, not knowing that one day I would make this mistake of wearing the wrong pair.
Sometimes it’s worth it sharing and laughing at our own bloopers. Isn’t it a good way to release stress? As one proverb goes: A cheerful disposition is good for your health; gloom and doom leave you bone-tired (Proverbs 17:22, MSG).
So instead of grumbling or complaining, why not take time to laugh it out? Anyone who wants to share a blooper?
As a Mother’s Day gift to my mom readers, I am sharing my latest and most valued recycling discovery– multi-purpose baskets from… guess what?
No other than Fresh Milk Cartons! 
Would you believe that I was already able to sell a total of 44 baskets (with assorted designs) to my German and Norwegian friends. What’s interesting with this eco-friendly creation is that it’s 100% recycled. Yes, you don’t actually have to buy anything, except the glue that’s needed for sticking Bible verses, flower or corrugated paper designs and for the glossy finishing touch.
I remember making bags out of milk cartons two years ago. But then, I used to wrap the milk box with expensive specialty paper. Now I am so glad that I don’t need to spend on the wrapper anymore.
To come up with an indigenous but classy looking baskets, you only need to follow these
10 steps:
1) Flatten empty milk cartons and cut off the top edges;
2) Wash them with dish washing detergent from the inside out;
3) Remove the labels by stripping off the first layer carton covering;
4) Hang them to dry under the sun;
5) Cut thin strips from the top edges and polish them with white glue;
6) Once dry, twist and braid the strips for the basket handle;
7) Fold the edges and creatively design the cartons with inspirational messages from old devotional materials, shells or recycled corrugated paper;
Punch the middle topmost part, then insert and tie the braided handle;
9) Evenly rub the basket and design surface with white glue for the glossy finishing touch;
10) Dry and return to box or basket form.
The finished product as shown in the photos can serve either as a gift bag or basket, pencil stand, desk organizer, flower vase or mere decorative or collector’s item. While fresh milk is a complete food in itself, now we see that milk cartons are a complete treasure for recycling artists and enthusiasts.
Happy Mother’s Day fellow moms!!!
It’s Earth Day Celebration today. As promised, I am continuing my recycling tips series of post.
Anybody using facial scrub cleansers? Watson’s Facial Scrub containers are simply excellent materials for arts and crafts.
Creatively decorate or wrap them with special colored paper (with personalized or native designs for the lids) and the round empty containers will just look great for any of these purposes:
1) Jewelry Box / Accessory Kit
2) Candy Canister
3) Word of Encouragement Box
4) Stone / Shell Collection Dish
5) Coin Bank
Instead of adding up to our huge non-biodegradable garbage, these Watson’s Facial Scrub plastic containers, when recycled, will add up to our arts and crafts collection. Eco-friendly cool creations. Aren’t they?
In line with the Earth Day Celebration on April 22, I am posting another recycling tip plus more interesting ones in the next few days.
My 8-year-old daughter likes arts and crafts and recycling. She was actually asking last week for a small empty mayonnaise jar in our kitchen. But wait, mom also got an idea– a mother-daughter activity!
We need:
- an empty clean jar (with the label removed);
- scrap crayons (assorted colors);
- a piece of candle on a glass holder (for melting the crayons)
- a lighter or a match;
- old calendar paper (for protecting your table from crayon droplets).
PROCEDURE:
Light your candle. With your old calendar paper and jar already placed on the table, melt a crayon stick and let it drip on the jar surface. Continue melting and dripping different colors until the surface is filled with colored dots or droplets.
Now we have a mom-daughter product, which we can use in five ways. Pick your choice from this list:
1) Candle Holder
2) Flower Vase
3) Desk Organizer
4) Pencil Stand
5) Kitchen Utensil or Cutlery Stand
So before you dispose those empty jars in your kitchen and your child’s scrap crayons, think of the bonding time and another eco-friendly creation you can make with your kids. Recycling is fun and cool for the family. Well, why don’t we include dad in our next recycling project?
(WARNING: Never leave kids unattended with this kind of activity so as to prevent fire accident.)
Posted on April 17th, 2008 in
Arts and Crafts,
Clever Moms,
Creative Gift Ideas,
Earth Day,
Families are Fun,
Mother-Daughter Activity,
Recycling Ideas,
mayonnaise jar,
recycle,
reuse | Author:
nymfa |
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Tasty Spam is no doubt every American kid’s favorite. A friend of mine from Kids Health Notes even sent me a picture of her 3-year-old daughter, who was caught in the act “looting” from the family cupboard. The luncheon meat, though, is good not only for breakfast, lunch or dinner. As a recycling enthusiast, I recently discovered the Spam can as a neat arts and crafts raw material.
I have here pictures of my product– a multi-purpose Spam caddy that can be used and enjoyed either as any of the following:
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-
-
-
-
desk organizer,
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pencil stand,
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decoration or
- small gift basket.
To make it look trendy, I wrapped the can with a colored corrugated paper and matched it with a handle made from braided and twisted carton strips. Everything is recycled, from the can to the handle to the flower decoration and Bible verse, but with the exception of the special corrugated paper. You can give the item away during special occasions, or sell it for $1.00 each for a fund-raising project.
So the next time you open a Spam, take time to enjoy the content. But don’t forget to save the can for the environment friendly, cool creation that you can make out of it.
